Genesis 5


From George to Yoshiboy


1 This is the written account of George’s line.
When Armagan modelled man, he made him in the likeness of Armagan. 2 He modelled them male and female and blessed them. And when they were created, he called them "man"; how inventive.

3 When George had lived 130 years, he had a son in his own likeness, in his own image; and he named him Seff. 4 After Seff was born, George lived 800 years and had other sons and daughters. 5 Altogether, George lived 930 years, and then he died. This was met by a massed sigh of relief from the forumites, who had been brought to the brink of destruction not once, not twice, but thrice (God, I love that word) by the madman.

6 When Seff had lived 105 years, he became the father of Enough. 7 And after he became the father of Enough, Seff lived 807 years and had other sons and daughters. Lots of them. And I mean Lots and Lots. 8 Altogether, Seff lived 912 years, and then he died, becoming tangled in a bra strap he was biting through and suffocating. Randy to the end, was old Seff.

9 When Enough had lived 90 years, he became the father of Kastor. 10 And after he became the father of Kastor, Enough lived 815 years and had other sons and daughters. 11 Altogether, Enough lived 905 years, and then he died. Just died, nothing special. He’d just had enough.

12 When Kastor had lived 70 years, he became the father of Mage246. 13 And after he became the father of Mage246, Kastor lived 840 years and had other sons and daughters. 14 Altogether, Kastor lived 910 years, and then he died in a horrendous sexual accident whilst making wank material for Pavlov. It was left with him in his grave for when Pavlov actually existed.

15 When Mage246 had lived 65 years, he became the father of Jarhead. 16 And after he became the father of Jarhead, Mage246 lived 830 years and had other sons and daughters. 17 Altogether, Mage246 lived 895 years, and then he died.

18 When Jarhead had lived 162 years, he became the father of Enough Really Is Enough. 19 And after he became the father of Enough Really Is Enough, Jarhead lived 800 years and had other sons and daughters. 20 Altogether, Jarhead lived 962 years, and then he died during archery practice, when he was killed by a wild Borcha, who shot him in the back.

21 When Enough Really Is Enough had lived 65 years, he became the father of Manitas. 22 And after he became the father of Manitas, Enough Really Is Enough walked with Armagan 300 years and got really bad calluses on his feet because he forgot to put on his hiking boots and had to wear sandals the whole way. 23 Altogether, Enough Really Is Enough lived 365 years. 24 Enough Really Is Enough walked with Armagan; then he was no more, because Armagan took him away. He decided that Enough Really Is Enough didn’t fit his vision of the game in the future, so he was removed from the game files in the next version.

25 When Manitas had lived 187 years, he became the father of bryce777. 26 And after he became the father of bryce777, Manitas lived 782 years and had other sons and daughters. 27 Altogether, Manitas lived 969 years, and then he died. They had really long lives in the times when the code was pure.

28 When bryce777 had lived 182 years, he had a son. 29 He named him Yoshiboy and said, "He will comfort us in the labor and painful toil of our hands caused by the ground the Lord has cursed." Meaning, it’s getting bloody hard to mod these days. 30 After Yoshiboy was born, bryce777 lived 595 years and had other sons and daughters. 31 Altogether, bryce777 lived 777 years, and then he died. Prophetic name, eh?

32 After Yoshiboy was 500 years old, he became the father of Wham, Bam and Thankyoumam.


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